Just Disgusted!

I don't usually get disgusted, and it will take a lot to make me so. But what is happening in our capital regarding the health care reform really rises that level. I am just tired of people saying that we live in the greatest democracy in the world and we cannot wait to spread it around. But look at what is happening in the seanate! One weenie senator by the name of Joseph Looserman, oh, Lieberman, can hold 59 other senators hostage and control the outcome of a huge bill. How is that democracy? It should be a simple majority to get things done.

If there is one person in this whole country that I have the least respect for, that is Mr. Liberman. He says he is a religious man, but his religon and morality are just words coming out of the mouth of a man who does not really understand the essence of religion. He chasitised Clinton about his moral failings, but Liberman's morality is limited to sexual morality only.

What is moral about denying basic health coverage to millions of poor people in this country? What is moral about receiving millions of dollars from insurance companies and doing their bid instead of that of the people he is elected to serve? What is moral about being blindly pro-Israel at the expense of the poor Palestinians?

Mr. Liberman has no principles or morals that guide his actions.He is an embrarrassment to humanity and I just can't take it any more, this man talking about doing th right thing, when all he does is make statements with his tongue that is not connected to his heart. I just don't want to hear his whining voice anymore. I can't take it any more.

Still with Us... The Anniversary Card

I facilitate a bereavement support group in a county hospital. A group of eight to ten people gather every week to talk about their grief and loss, to offer support to each other and get support in that process. One theme that runs through our meetings is the idea that our loved ones have not "gone anywhere" but that they are still with us not "in spirit" but "as spirits". There is a big difference. "Present in spirit" means mostly as a memory. But "as spirits" means an "active presence" not tangible to touch or visible to the eye but tangible to the soul. Most participants are open to this idea, but there are skeptics too. One such skeptic was Andrea who had lost her mother on March 17, 2009.

During our meeting on November 30, 2009, Andrea came in with an envelope in her hand and asked me to open and read the card in it. It was a wedding anniversary card from her mother that had arrived in the mail, on Saturday, November 28, 2009, for Andrea and her husband. And it said: Dear Andrea and Lee, Happy anniversary, mom and dad."
November 30th is their wedding anniversary!

Andrea said that she had received anniversary cards from her mom and dad, every year since her marriage. She was sad that she won't receive one this year as her mother had passed in March. But she did!It was signed by her mom and the address on the envelope was also written by her mom!

The envelope was POST MARKED November 27, 2008! Where was that card for a whole year? Why was it not delivered the day after it was posted? Why didn't it show up six months earlier or six months later? Whey was it not lost permanently? Why would it arrive on the exact weekend of her anniversary? I told Andrea that it was her mother wishing her a happy anniversary. Andrea began to cry. She said she cried for hours when she received the card on Saturday and was confused, mesmerized, and mystified by the continued presence of her mom with her. She is now convinced that her mom is around her.

Still with Us... The Sports Balloon

My good friend Rick Rosen passed away on November 30,2009 due to a massive heart attack. He leaves behind his wife Paige, and two children, Jonathan and Alison. I officiated their wedding just six years ago. Paige wanted me to officiate his funeral too. More than two hundred people gathered to bid farewell to Rick on 12/2/09 at Temple Bethel Cemetery in Hollywood. It was one of the saddest days of my life. Once again, I stood at the door of the unfathomable mystery of life.

Paige woke up around 7 AM on the day of the funeral. She told her sister Valerie who was staying with her, not to put any sports channel that morning. She wanted to listen to soft music. Rick was an avid fan of NY Giants. When he was home, ESPN was always on. The morning of Rick's funeral, ESPN was off.

While Paige stood in the screened in back porch with a cup of coffee in her hand, she noticed a balloon slowly approaching her house. As it came closer, she noticed that it was a sports balloon with pictures of four balls on it. It came to the screen door, hit against it few times and fell to the ground. Paige screamed at the top of her lungs calling her sister. She and her family had no doubt it was Rick letting her know that he was around.

A Sad Week

My week began with a voice mail message on my cell phone. "Hi Paul, this is Paige Rosen, I have some bad news for you. Rick had a massive heart attack last night and he died....he was very fond of you...I have to go an make some funeral arrangements this morning." I was driving when I heard that message.I pulled over and began to cry. I called my my and she began to cry.

Rick was a healthy 51 year old man. He was watching TV lying on his couch with his wife next to him. It was 9.15 PM.Sunday night. He had put up the Christmas tree that morning and ate dinner with his wife and two children and was just relaxing like any other Sunday in his life. Around 9.30 PM, Paige noticed Rick twitching his face and she asked him if he was OK. He did not respond. She got up and touched his hand and raised it, but it fell down. He was loosing air fast. She called 911. She was told to give him CPR which she did and the ambulance took him to hospital. Rick died at 1.15 AM.

For the whole day, I was under the grip of this unexplainable and inconsolable sense of sadness and grief, thinking about the kind of man Rick was, the inevitability and unpredictability of death and the mystery of life itself.

Although I work as a hospice chaplain, Rick's death affected me so much because he was like family. I had the honor of officiating his marriage six years ago. With profound sadness, I also officiated his funeral on Wednesday. It was a difficult week. Tomorrow is Sunday, and the Lord will once again lift my spirits.

The book is finally at the printer

Today I submitted the manuscript for my book: "God is Plural: Sermons for an Emerging Church." It has been a long and instructive process but worth every minute of it. For years, people have asked me as to when I was going to publish my book. Because, the assumption is that once you have a doctorate, you have to publish a book. I resisted that temptation for a long time. I said to myself that, unless I had something worthwhile to say,I am not going to contribute to the desctruction of one more tree. I was not going to write a book just for the sake of it.

Finally, the time came and the inner voice seemed right and I am publishing this book.It contains my life philosophy, my ideas about God, Jesus, religion, discipleship etc. I believe that there is a lot of misunderstanding about these topics. I wanted to add my two cents with the hope that it might help some one in their spiritual journey. It is an invitation of consciously unlearn what has been unconsiciously learned. When it comes to religion, most of our learning is "unconscious" and that explains the many problems in society we have today.

I invite everyone to wake up, pay attention and be a conscious participant in this adventure called LIFE!

OBAMA THE PEACEMAKER

I was so delighted to hear the news of President Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize I had to call my wife immediately to share the news. Anyone who wants peace and loves peace has to be happy about it. For those who want a world in conflict this is bad news. Why did the Nobel Committee award him the prize? He has been president only for nine months. He was not even nominated for the prize. Yet why was he selected for this honor?I see two reasons. First,the world at large yearns for peace. The Nobel Committee is hitching its wagon behind Obama hoping that he would work tirelessly to make this world free of nuclear weapons.

But more importantly, I believe that the award is more personal, given to a man who embodies peace. He talks about international co-operation and dialogue as means to solve problems than unilateralism and war. He deserves the award just for dreaming of a world where no country has nuclear weapons.

One question that has been repeatedly asked here and abroad is: "What has he done to deserve this award? It is not an award for "doing" but for "being". Mahatma Gandhi,one of the greatest peacemakers of all times said: "There is no way to peace, peace is the way." Before "working for peace" a person has to "be peace". I think Obama was given the award for his peaceful "demeanor" towards the world more than any one particular thing he has done. It is my hope and prayer this award will give him more courage to pursue peace everywhere, always and all ways.

Gandhi's 140th Birthday: BE the change

Today is Mahatma Gandhi's 140th birthday. In honor of him I did a devotional for my team at work. First, I asked the group if anyone could come up with five facts on Gandhi, and none could, except for one to ask: "Was Indira Gandhi the daughter of Mahatma Gandhi?"! I told them that although Gandhi was Hindu, he followed the teachings of Jesus. Once his biographer asked Gandhi why he did not become a Christian, Gandhi said: "because of the Christians." Winston Churchill said this of Gandhi: "There is only one Christian in India and he happens to be a Hindu."

One of the group members said that she has great respect for the Hindu religion and she went to a Hindu temple four times to just see and learn more. The response to that statement from another group member was very condescending. "But they worship fake Gods." I was curious and so I asked her who told her that, and the lady said: "God" pointing her finger upwards. "When did God tell you that Hindus worship fake gods? and she said:"It is in the Bible." Such dangerous ignorance is actually commonplace. Many people have no curiosity about other religions and cultures. They believe the ignorance conveyed to them from so many evangelical pulpits. It is sad that people have to be judgmental about what they have no idea about.

I honor Gandhi today by taking seriously the teachings of Jesus and trying to "be the change" that I want to see in the world.

Wake Up! Pay Attention

As an observer of life, I feel that most people are sleepwalking through life. They don't pay attention to the details of life and savor experiences to get a full range of their impact. As hard as I try to keep awareness alive,sometimes I do things in such a hurry, that I make mistakes. Case in point is my experience at the local library today. I got an automated message from the library that the book I had put on hold had arrived. So I went to the Northwest Regional Library in Coral Springs. But my book was not there! The clerk told me that it is at Northwest branch in Pompano.

There are three libraries in Broward County with basically the same name that unless you pay close attention to, you will make a mistate. 'Northwest' in Pompano Beach, 'North Regional' in Coconut Creek and 'Northwest Regional' in Coral Springs. When I put the hold on the book, I clicked the wrong branch because I didn't pay attention.

I did not get upset with the clerk when she told me that the book was not there. I did not blame myself for making a careless mistake. I did not get aggravated for going to the wrong branch. I took it in stride. It was a learning experience in awareness.The lesson here for me is, SLOW DOWN, TAKE A DEEP BREATH; PAY ATTENTION.

My Two Birth Days!

I have two birthdays. It is nothing miraculous, but just cultural.In fact, a doctor on my hospice team (from South America) and a nurse (from Haiti) also have two birthdays. For a western mind, it may be very hard to understand how one person could have have two birthdays. But it is more common than you think.

When I was growing up in India in the fifties, birthdays were neither mentioned or celebrated. My mom who neither read nor wrote English, followed an Indian Calendar. I never had a birthday party or received a birthday card or a birth day present. My wife thinks I was a bad boy, not true, just cultural. Never heard of Hallmark until I came to the US in 1981!

When I was registered in Elementary School, documents such as birth certificate, social security card,phone bill or utility bill were not required. None of these existed! My dad took me to school, and told the headmaster who my dad knew, that I was five years old and needs to be in school. So, the headmaster wrote my name on a book and told my dad to send me to school the next day, and that was my first day of school! No photos, no videos. We had no camera. As a matter of fact, there are no baby pictures of mine. I was 19 years old when my first picture was taken. No way of knowing what a cute baby I was!!

So, during the first 15 years of my life at home, there was no mention of any birthday. For the next 10 years in the Seminary, my "feast day" was celebrated but not birthday. By the way, feast day honors the Saint for whom a person is named. I was named after "St. Paul" and his feast day is June 29th. I still get sporadic feast day greeting cards from nuns in India, on June 29th.

The first time a serious need for a DOB arose, when I applied for a passport in 1981. In the passport application, I wrote down a date that matched the Indian Calendar my mother followed and that date was September 22! Again, no supporting document was needed for this. So, since 1981, in all official documents, my DOB is September 22nd. But I knew it was not the day I saw the light of day. So, when I went to India in 1986, I did some digging. The place to look is the church where you are baptized. In India, a baptism certificate takes the place of birth certificate for Christians.

I was baptized in my mother's parish church. And I found my baptism certificate in an old dusty ledger, at St.Mary's Church, Muttuchira, and viola, the exact date of my blessed birth, is October 6, 1950! I was baptized seven days later on October 13th. Baby baptism was the norm those days, for fear of going to limbo, should the baby die before being baptized. The pope recently removed limbo from the list of possible places for unbaptized babies!!

So October 6th is the day I celebrate my birth, thanking the Lord for giving me life, although I gracefully accept good wishes and presents starting on September 22nd!

Theological Thriller!

I just finished reading Dan Brown's latest novel - The Lost Symbol - It came out last Tuesday, I bought it the same day and read 100 pages a day and finished in five days. It is that interesting and gripping. I usually don't read fictions, but Brown's books are not just fiction. There is so much theology in it. For example this book begins with a statement at the beginning. "To live in the world without becoming aware of the meaning of the world is like wandering about in a great library without touching the books."

How true that is! As an observer of life, I feel that majority of people are sleepwalking through life only to find out that their life is often a nightmare. Many people live very peripheral lives. Take for example the charge by Sarah Palin that Obama's health care reform has "death panels." Those words are not in the bill. They were used by a shallow politician to whip up political frenzy. It has nothing to do with reality, but to find that reality, one has to do some reading and reflection. There is a recommendation in the Bill for doctors to discuss with the elderly, 'end-of-life issues' which, as a hospice chaplain, I feel, is a GREAT IDEA. I deal with people who have never thought about death until the day of their death and the pain and trauma they go through while dealing with the inevitable. A smart president suggests that we do something that is smart and and the sleepwalkers twist it as something else.

As a matter of fact we currently have 'death panels" and they are called HMOs who won't insure you if you have a pre-existing condition, or drop you when they find out you have a condition they don't want to cover, and charge you huge sums until you go bankrupt. Now that is a death panel for you, but nobody sees it.

The Lost Symbol has great insights about God, our destiny as image of God, and the great role a community can play in our overall well being. In fact,after reading the novel, you will want to be member of a church or a temple.

God Is Plural

I just finished reading The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown's latest novel that was released last Tuesday. I have never bought or read a book with such eagerness in such a short time. Five hundred plus pages...in five days. It is that interesting. I like this book for its mystery and thrill, but above all for its theology and philosophy of life. There is lot in it that is very theological.It talks about Noetic Science, the theory that people's thought has the power to effect change in the physical world. Brown talks about a new consciousness that is emerging for the better, despite all the doom and gloom around. The last word of this million word novel is HOPE!

I was really inspired by the idea towards the end that the Hebrew word for God - Elohim - is a plural. God is plural. God is a community. We find and experience God best,in a community setting. We are not meant to be alone; no man is an island. Feel the connection with others and you will automatically feel the connection to God.

If you think that you cannot know God or you don't feel God,look around. God is hiding in plane sight in the community that is around you, be it your family, your church your town, your country, your world!

Publishing my Book

I have always wanted to write a book; but I put it off because, I had pledged to myself that if I did not have anything new to say, I am not going to cut down more trees just to repeat what others have said. But I think I have something old to say in a NEW way, about God, Religion, Life etc. Since I am not famous, no publisher will accept my manuscript. So, I am publishing it myself through IUniverse, a great self-publishing company.

The title is "Batteries are Included: Sermons for an emerging church." The first sermon is titled: "You Divine DNA!. The whole premise of the book is that we are not merely humans condemned to live a life of misery and struggle in this world, but we are equipped with an innate power,given to us by the creator, but either we don't know we have it, or those who know, don't use it. Once that power is unleashed in the way it was intended, our lives will change and blossom.

Writing a book is hard work. But it is a challenge worth undertaking. So, stay tuned.

Public Option in Health Care Reform

I used to "worship" President Obama. But I am losing hope. It looks like he is trying to please every body. Someone who tries to please everybody, ends up pleasing nobody. This is time to show some leadership.

In June,the president said that the public option is necessary for any meaningful reform. "Any plan I sign must include....a public option" he said last month. Now he is back pedaling because the Republicans are making too much noise. Also some democrats called he "blue dogs" are against a public option. The insurance companies don't want the public option either! No surprise there. Any reform without a public option will be like putting lipstick on a pig.

This is the time for the democratic party to stand together as a party and for the president to show some leadership. If the party cannot enact health reform with the public option in it, with super majorities in both houses and the control of the white house, the democrats do not deserve to be in power. I will not vote this party again.

I have written to the white house and to the Secretary of HHS, Kathleen Sibelius, about my frustrations with them. Please write or call the white house and your representative. We need health care reform now and we need to cover ALL Americans.

My Blog Name: PaulintheNOW

People have asked my why did I chose the name PaulintheNOW. During the past 30 years of my life, I have heard numerous sermons and lectures about the importance of living in the present. I have read many books about the need to live in the moment. I had a poster in my bathroom that read: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is the most important day in your life." But none of it worked until...

I read Eckart Tolle's book "The Power of Now" and began consciously practicing the message of that book. The fact that yesterday is a "realized Now" and that tomorrow is an "imagined Now," hit me hard. ...Another contributing factor is my job as a hospice chaplain. My constant involvement with death and dying gives me a true appreciation of life and it constantly reminds me that this moment is all I have.....

Living in the moment brought a new peace to my life; it showed in my interactions with society and one day a good friend in my men's group named me Paulinthenow. It gave me more inspiration and challenges me to live the meaning of my name.

Typhoon in Taiwan

As Floridians most of us have seen the devastating impact of hurricanes first hand, and as citizens, we have watched the horrors of hurricane Katrina in New Orleans.Midway through this hurricane season, as tropical storms Anna and Bill Churn in the Atlantic, my thoughts are with the victims of the typhoon in Taiwan last week.

A whole village of over 600 residents were totally buried under mud and water.
As I watch those horrific scenes on my flat screen TV, in the comfort of my home, my left brain says: "it is a faraway place and they are strangers." But my right brain says:"every human being, regardless of their location,shares my humanity and that strangers are family I haven't met, yet."

On this quiet Sunday afternoon, my thoughts and prayers are with all my brothers and sisters across this planet, that they be blessed and peace prevail in the hearts of all.

Fear of Death

As the health care debate heats up the controvesy about the myth of "death panel" is still out in the blogosphere and on talk radio. Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa suggested that the provision to discuss end of life issues be removed from the House Bill. Sarah Palin tweeted that she is happy it is being removed.

The underlying issue here is not about cost of health care, but about the fear of death.In my line of work as a hospice chaplain, I see a lot of people who are deathly afraid of death. There are patients on hospice care who don't want the term hospice mentioned in their presence. There are families who refuse to make funeral arrangements,because they fear that if arrangements are made, death will happen soon. There are parents who won't take their young children to grandma's funeral because they want to shield them from a negative experience.

I see death and dying on a daily basis. I have no fear of death. I do occasional "death meditation" which helps me to gain deeper perspectives on life. I think death is the most beautiful experience of life as the spirit frees itself from its bondage to the ego; the ultimate merging on my spirit with the eternal Spirit.

Being in constant touch with this inevitable reality of life helps me to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life. It reminds me that life is impermanent, attachments are tentative, worrying about future is futile, and that the only thing that counts is this moment and that "there are no ordinary moments".

Health Care Scare!

There are lot of scary things being said during the health care reform debate that are blatant lies, such as "death panels" "government care" etc. The phrase "death panel" does not even appear in the bill. Rightwingnuts such as Sarah Palin have twisted the pages of the bill, which they have not read, to agitate the ignorant masses for political purposes.

The section of the bill they refer to as "death panel", merely encourages doctors to have a conversaton about end of life issues and Advance Directives such as Living Wills, Health Care Surrogates, DNRs, etc. As a hospice chaplain, I highly recommend those conversations for every one, even if you are young, because death is both inevitable and inescapable. Such discussions will help mitigate the fear of death which is so rampant in our society. It will also help curb eighty percent of the health care costs which happen during the last two years of a person's life.

Unbridled capitalism mixed with rampant greed brought us to the brink of an economic collapse. President Obama is trying so hard to prevent such a catastrophe in the future by cutting health care costs through reform. But the special interest groups and corporations that want to make money from the misery of people are totally against reform. Please call or write your elected reps to make your views heard on this issue.

The Gift of Friendship

Today I had lunch with a good friend, Jeffrey Frantz. He is the pastor of a UCC church in Miami Lakes who I have come to love and admire. A genuine human being who really cares and encourages every chance he gets. I have become very fond of his congregation where I preach occasionally. I am looking forward to be the "interim pastor" of that congregation when Jeff takes his much anticipated sabatical next year.

During our lunch he encouraged me again to write a book. I have wanted to write a book for a long time, but I just don't want to write just any book. I want to write a book that appears on Oprah's Book Club. I want to write one that gets on the NY times best seller list. I already have a title for my book: "Eulogy for an Atheist". But I don't know when it will start writing.

With a young family around especially with a disabled child to care for, and a full time job, it is hard to find the time and space needed to focus on a bestseller! But, one of these days, I will start writing and only heaven knows how it will all end.

Fast forward future

Today I visited a patient who is 85, who sufferes from various illnesses and is on hospice. I met with his wife who is twenty years younger. They had 38 years of happy marriage and now the wife feels terrible that her beloved is living in a facility and she is worried he would fall and die without she being there. At age 58 with a wife 13 years younger than myself, I experienced transference during that visit. Twenty years or less down the road, I could be in the same position, living in a facility, and facing the end of my existence. It is a scary feeling, but I better integrate that into my current life as one of life's inevitable experiences. Or may be not, I will live happy and healthy till the last day and just drop off the face of this planet with a smile on my face causing no burden to my family so that they can go on with their lives. That is the best possible outcome I am praying for daily.

My body is 58 years old but my spirit is eternal. During the past few years, I have heard a lot about blogging and today, I just created my blog!! I have a lot of thoughts about a lot of things, but I don't know who wants to hear them..but I will write any way....in the days and months and years to come.
I am just happy to be alive in very complex world.