Many are asking the Why question. Why such horrible things happen in the world? What makes a person so angry and evil that he could take an Uber ride to a school and gun down innocent kids?
To get flavor of how this event has affected some people, I like to share with you a face book posting from a teacher at Stoneman Douglas. I know her personally because she was Johnny's teacher at Taravella. She wrote this at 4.30 in the morning because she couldn't sleep.
Random thoughts on the state of our staff…teachers' days are not normal, we are floating around, We have too many funerals to attend, we can't make a plan, we're late for everything because there's so many extra people in Parkland and the roads are all blocked, we shake uncontrollably, We can't be alone, free food is everywhere but we can't eat, we have pounding headaches, we are wearing hats and sunglasses, we can't take the sirens and cop cars buzzing around town, we can't sleep more than a couple hours, we wonder why we can't cry, we can't send our kids to school because there are so many lock downs still going on, we pet dogs, we gather, we blame ourselves and wonder what we could have done differently, we pull over and puke on the side of the road, we can't enjoy the sunshine or the beach we don't want these helicopters above us.
We go to counseling every day, we are hyper vigilant, we drive slow, we don't comb our hair, we can't wear our contacts, we are high-fiving survival, we stink, we look like zombies, we jump straight out of our chairs when a door slams, We are sharing our Xanax, we have no idea when we will go back to work, we carry Kleenex everywhere, and walk around with heavy hearts, not knowing what to do and what to expect next.
That just gives you a glimpse into the anger, sadness, questions, frustrations, senselessness, hopelessness, and helplessness of the whole situation.
How do we RESPOND to these events and experiences as DISCIPLES? That is the central question as we gather in church. Notice two words in that question… respond and disciples. I use those words intentionally. Lets look at the word respond.
Most people are not responding to what happens to them or around them. They are reacting. What is the difference between reacting and responding? You may not have thought about it. Understanding that difference could make a big difference in our lives.
A reaction is usually immediate and on the spot without much thinking or reflection about the meaning of the event or consequences of the reaction. We have expressions like nuclear reaction., allergy reaction, chemical reaction, emotional reaction which have an immediate, automatic, instinctive and sometimes destructive quality to it. If you study face book postings and twitter feeds, you will see that most people are reacting to what they see and hear and experience. Knee jerk reactions that are often, unrelated to reality, untested by facts, hyperbolic, superficial, emotionally charged and often, mean, cruel, unnecessary, and untrue. So when we are merely reacting to events around us, we are just following Newton's 3rd law of physics…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Unfortunately, Christian life is not based on Newton's law of physics.
Responding on the other hand, means, reacting thoughtfully, mindfully and maturely. Responding requires, taking a deep breath, digging beyond the surface, looking beyond what you see, thinking before speaking and pausing before you click that send button on an email or post. Responding involves being alert, paying attention, prayer, reflection and meditation. Responding is focused, not on what happens to you, but who it happens to.
The second part of the question is: how do we respond as disciples? Because we have the option to respond in so many ways. We can respond as a Republican or a Democrat, a conservative or a liberal. We can respond as an NRA member, we can respond as an American, as an Indian, as an immigrant, as a gay person, as a man or a woman. We can also respond as a disciple. In fact we should respond to all the events and experiences around us as disciples of Jesus. When you do that, you will see that everything that happens to you or around you - be it school shootings, car accidents, cancer diagnosis, job loss, divorce or death - doesn't matter what it is, takes on a new meaning and significance.
I like to share with you, how my faith which, definitely gets challenged by tragic events, is restored. How, after experiencing anger, denial, bargaining, depression and sadness and horror, my sanity is restored. My discipleship kicks in.
As a disciple I know that destruction and restoration are two sides of the same coin. Death and resurrection are two aspects of the Christ-mystery.
Let me explain. What happened in Parkland on Valentines day , was a horrific event. Shattered lives, broken hearts, deferred dreams. No question about the horror of that day. There is no denying the reality of that event. It happened in real time, to real people.
But plenty of other things also happened immediately after that. I think of the heroism and self sacrificing mentality of coach Aaron Weis, geography teacher Scott Beigel and coach Chris Hixon who literally sacrificed their lives to save the lives of children. I look at the courage and tenacity of the police officers. I am inspired by the passion and determination of students like David Hogg, Emma Gonsalez, and Cameron Kasky who are willing to fight for a worthy cause like gun control. Seeing the love and compassion overflowing thru the veins of thousands of people who stood in line for hours to donate blood, brings tears to my eyes. I am humbled by the generosity of thousands people who donated to Go fund me, raising 2 million dollars in two days. There is so much good that is mixed with so much bad.
That is the mystery of life; that is the meaning of the Chinese symbol of yin and yang. Two aspects of the same reality, inter-related yet distinct, one flowing into the other, creating a rhythm of complimentary wholeness. We have to learn to live in the midst of the mystery of life, and also at the edge of it, resisting the temptation to find all the answers and control all events.
If you want to live on the face of this earth, there is no escaping the reality of polarity. All of us want happiness; but we won't know what happiness is without experiencing sadness. We won't know what light is without encountering darkness; we won't know what a mountain is, without looking at the valley; we won't know what peace means in the absence of war; we cannot experience life without accepting death. Good and bad, darkness and light, death and life, despair and hope come in pairs.
That is how life is designed by the Creator. We cannot avoid it, or circumvent it; We cannot go around it; we have to go through it so that we can accept it and deal with it. The good news is that, day always follows night, light always follows darkness, hope always transcends despair, and life ultimately wins over death.
Apostle Paul understood this dual aspects of life so well, and that is why he wrote to the Corinthians:
We are hard pressed on every side, but we are not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed; we always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. We who are alive are given over to death for Jesus' sake so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body; so then death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
In another place, in the same letter to the Corinthians, Paul guarantees them that the bad and the good, the wounding and the healing will merge together in their lives, through the sufferings and the comfort that comes from Jesus. 2Cor 1: 5 says, "for just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also thru Christ, our comfort overflows."
Notice that Paul uses two contradictory words, in the same sentence. "suffering" and "comfort." He places them side by side, showing us the undeniable bond between the two.
As humans, we don't want them together; we want them separated; we only want comfort; We like to avoid suffering. But it doesn't work that way. As disciples, we should learn to put them together and find meaning and mystery inside that.
In the aftermath of the enormous suffering caused by the school shooting, comfort may not be easy to find. But it is there. It is inbuilt into our souls by the Creator. We need to go within to find it. To feel it, we need to attach our lives to the other side of the cross of Jesus.
We are disciples of a man in whom tragedy and triumph were blended together: Crucifixion and resurrection. The tragic part did not destroy Jesus, but elevated him to a new level of being as the Risen Lord.
That is our model. To be steadfast and peaceful in the midst of the tragic and the painful experiences of life, whether they happen to us or around us. To find that place within us that is unaffected by the turmoil of the world.
That will happen when we place Jesus in the center of our lives, Jesus who suffered but was also glorified; Jesus who died, but rose again. Let us pray for the grace to understand and accept this irony and mystery of life.
Let us always remember that we live in a Good Friday world, but we are an Easter people.
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